Associates in Christian Counseling

There is an embroidery in the center of our family photo wall that says--
“There are two lasting gifts we can give to our children, one is roots, the other is wings.”

If our children are to truly fly, they must be unencumbered by our expectations. Even our guidance must become something given only upon request. As they move on, our task is to release them into the care of the Shepherd who knows them and loves better than we do.

I hope you will be blessed and encouraged by this edition no matter what the age of your children.

Peace and grace,
Dr. Joe Verga
Executive Director, ACC

JULY FEATURES

Letting Go of Your Adult Child
            - A Story in Three Parts
            - Part 1 Launching the Future
           - Part 2 When They're Not Doing               What I Think is Best
           - Part 3 Boomerang Kids

Radio Post Script

Book Reviews

Speakers Bureau

Letting Go of Your Adult Child—A Story in Three Parts

Part One: Launching to the Future

“Letting go of your adult child” will mean distinctively different things to different parents. It may mean choking back tears as August approaches and that recent high school graduate heads off to college for the first time. If you’ve already navigated that transition, it may mean an upcoming wedding and contemplating the creation of a new separate family unit. Read More

Part Two: What if it’s not what I think is best?

Garrison Keillor told us that in Lake Wobegon “all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.” This has come to be known as “the Lake Wobegon effect.” Most of us know families where everything is above average….or at least we conclude that based on what’s reported…or we perceive it to be so based on what we assume. Often this idea is as fictional as the town of Lake Wobegon. Families are made of people; people are human; humans aren’t perfect. Read More

Part Three: Boomerang Kids

You’ve let go of your adult child. You’ve made a successful adjustment to the empty nest and the next stage of life. Now…guess who’s coming to dinner?! Read More

An additional thought from Dr. Joe Verga
If we are mindful of it, we can see that God reveals His heart to us in every circumstance of life. Letting go of an adult child teaches us something about God’s own heart—both how He might have experienced “letting go” of Adam and Eve already knowing the poor choices they would make…as well as “letting go” of Jesus knowing the outcome for His obedience. So whenever things get difficult, let it be a reminder to look for something deeper by asking the Lord to help you see the heart truth or lesson.

Tune in next month when our focus will be:
Domestic Violence
Wednesday, August 6th, 8:30--9:00AM, on WBFJ--89.3FM

Speakers Bureau

Are you planning your calendar for this fall and wondering where you might find a speaker? Associates in Christian Counseling has 10 speakers able to speak on a wide variety of topics to church groups, women’s and men’s ministries, parents groups, or civic organizations. Topic areas include but are not limited to:

- Common Problems such as anxiety, depression, grief or stress
- Marriage
- Men’s Issues
- Parenting
- Women’s Issues
- Spiritual & Mental Health
- Self-Care

For more information, please contact us at heather@christiancounseling.org

Book Reviews

10 Great Dates for Empty Nesters
David and Claudia Arp
Zondervan Publishing Company, 2004
Offers a simple dating plan that is sure to revive romance and rejuvenate the fun quotient in your empty-nest marriage.

Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest: Discovering New Purpose, Passion & Your New Great Adventure
Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates
Family Life Publishing, 2008
Addresses the many questions women may wonder about in this new season of life as they grieve what is behind and wonder about the possibilities for the future.

Parenting Your Adult Child: How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential
Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, MD
Northfield Publishing, 1999
Parenting does not end at 18 and this book will help parents communicate with their adult child over lifestyle issues, becoming an in-law or grandparent, hurdles to independence, moving back home, etc.

Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
Allison Bottke
Harvest House Publishing, 2008
Written from first hand experience and sharing real stories from other parents, her 6 step process, SANITY, offers parents hope and healing as they regain control of their lives.

A Thought

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States.

Erma Bombeck

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