Associates in Christian Counseling

A Personal Reflection—Capt. Will Norton

After graduating from Wake Forest University in 2003, Will was commissioned in the US Army as a Field Artillery Officer. He served 2 tours of duty in Iraq-- January, 2005, to January, 2006, and again from January, 2007, to March, 2008. Will and his family now live in his hometown of Nashville, TN, where he teaches and coaches at Montgomery Bell Academy and is active in the National Guard.

When I returned from my two deployments, I was impressed with the psychological emphasis that was given to returning soldiers. Being referred to mental health services for issues from the deployment was not labeled as bad and in my experience psychiatrists were readily available for the troops. My only improvement for the armed forces would be to authorize and fund spiritual counseling for soldiers returning.

The pace, however, was too fast for soldiers to fully re-integrate and stabilize their lives. The best support the military can provide is stress-free time where soldiers can re-group. However, the reality is that by the time they return home, units already know when they are slated to re-deploy. By the time the 30-day block leave is over, the unit is already planning field exercises and the pace of things is picking up.

I observed that deployment affects soldiers in three distinct ways: marriage, flashbacks, and anxiety. For both my deployments it took at least 6 months for my wife and I to get used to being under the same roof again. We went to marital counseling after both deployments and dealt with significant issues that came from the deployment. Marriage counseling should almost be mandatory in my opinion because even if spouses are not fighting, there is likely deep seated resentment that is being suppressed. This bitterness should be dealt with right away and not years later.

Flashbacks affect everyone but to what degree, in my opinion, depend on the mental stability of the person going into the conflict. If the person was mentally unstable going in, I observed that they were much more unstable coming out. If the soldier was stable going in, then it took awhile, but eventually the soldier reached a place where the flashbacks did not impact them much. It took me about 1-2 months to stop being jumpy or edgy when I was driving. You are so used to analyzing everything on the road as a threat or not a threat that when you return to the States the traffic, signs and busyness of the roads causes anxiety. I never lose control, but sometimes get road rage where I want control the road in the US the same way I controlled the road and other cars with my Humvee. Every time I see or hear a helicopter, I get a sinking feeling in my chest as I remember my times on the deployment. Loud booms do the same but I do not hear them as much. Never do I feel like I lose control in these situations, it just brings back bad memories. I am very emotional charged when someone recounts the story of how I missed my son’s birth or when I revisit this in my mind, and when I talk / think about the comrades that we lost.

For anxiety, in Iraq as an officer you have no days off and work an average of 13-16 hour days the entire year minus two weeks off for leave. This environment creates a work habit that is not healthy in that it is difficult to feel at rest away from work. As I transitioned into civilian life as a teacher, I find that I still have the same work habits and that they are tough to break. At the same time, I do not feel like my body has the rest it needs yet I have trouble setting boundaries with work. In many ways I attribute these issues to the deployment.

I believe that time away from work and spiritual counseling are the two keys to the issues I have dealt with. I continue to go to counseling about these issues but have not yet figured out the time issue.