School, Stress and Self-Worth

Why do you try to make good grades in high school?  
          To get into a good college.
Why do you need to get into a good college?               
          To get a good job.
Why do you need a good job?                                       
          To make good money.
Why do you need to make good money?                     
          So I can be happy.

In addition to his work with children, adolescents and families in his practice at Associates, Dr. Heath Greene is also an Adjunct Assistant Professor of Psychology at Wake Forest University.  Born of observations from his clients, his church family and cultural in general, he began asking his college students this series of questions.  The answers were nearly always the same.
                                                        
Talk with any parent about their school-age child and achievement—academic, athletic, etc.—is bound to come up.  From the earliest educational experience, there is a focus on performance.  “For a child for whom the educational system is a good fit, this may seem to work,” shared Dr. Greene, “but for the child who may struggle academically or athletically, this emphasis on performance can be emotionally difficult.”

Even for those who achieve academic success, a danger may lurk years down the road.  What happens when there are no more gold stars, awards, or spots on the honor roll or dean’s list?  At that point, Heath sees some who struggle with their sense of identity wondering ‘who am I?’ now that the academic brass ring is no longer a quest.

For other children, their self-worth may become tied to their behavior.  “I think it is very important that both parents and teachers be careful to make the distinction between choices a child makes that may not be healthy and who they are as people,” Greene observed.  “A bad choice does not make someone a bad person but we need to make that distinction clear to a child so they don’t begin to see themselves as bad.”

“When I work with a child, I often ask the parents what their goal is for their child’s therapy.  Often the answer is for them ‘to be happy’ which brings me back to those questions I pose to my college students. I see this as an empty venture,” Dr. Greene stated. “I believe we each need to find our worth outside of what we can do.  Knowing we have the freedom to do anything is good because it removes certain glass ceilings.  We are not, however, all gifted to do everything we can imagine or dream.  We are each God’s unique creation and our ultimate goal, for ourselves and for our children, should be to recognize our identity as God’s child and find our sense of worth in Him.  He has gifted each of us with abilities for us to pursue to His glory.  It is in this pursuit of knowing and honoring Him that we will find worth and value.”

Are you or your child are struggling with your identity or sense of worth?
Call 336-896-0065, ext. 203, today to make an appointment.