Parenting for Beginners or the Battle Weary!

With school just around the corner, thoughts are shifting from flexible schedules to hectic calendars, from carefree days to homework assignments. If school is spelled
S-T-R-E-S-S at your house, read on for some helpful ideas from ACC’s Dr. Heath Greene.

Dr. Greene suggests parents start at the beginning. “Long before school is on the horizon, parents need to do their own homework. Children develop best with a two-fold approach: love and structure. In order to do that well, however, a parent must have developmentally appropriate expectations of their child,” Heath stated. “There are many fine books on parenting and child development. Louise Bates Ames, PhD, and Frances L. Ilg, MD, of the Gesell Institute of Child Development, have written an entire series with one book for each year of age from one through fourteen. [For other suggestions, see our Book Review.] Many churches have parenting classes and the media even offers ‘Nanny 911’ or ‘Super Nanny.’”

A parent should continue to gather information about developmental stages as their child grows. “There are many variables between children, so knowing what behavior is considered within a normal range will enable parents to have reasonable expectations. Boys, for example, often ‘act out’ more than girls leading to their being labeled as behavioral problems or having problems with attention. In many cases, these boys benefit greatly from shorter tasks with frequent breaks for physical activity which better matches their developmental level in early school years. Girls are often quieter and seen as either model students or shy. These labels can be equally harmful in that they often allow problems to be overlooked.”

Perhaps school has been an on-going struggle for your child for years. Perhaps he/she will be a wide-eyed kindergartener this fall. Dr. Greene has several suggestions when difficulties arise:

• Don’t wait too long to consider testing. Early intervention does help.
• Remain in dialog with the teacher.
• Get feedback from other group settings in which your child participates—Sunday school, scouts, sports, etc. Is behavior consistent in all?
• Testing evaluations have a lifespan of 2-3 years and need to be repeated. If you’ve had one done, is it current?

Approximately 3-5% of school-age children have been diagnosed with ADHD. There are certainly times when that diagnosis has been overused or misused. If you or your child’s teacher suspects a problem, be sure to seek the help you need. Being knowledgeable and observant will make you the best advocate your child can have when the school bell rings!

For more information on specific testing options, please read our feature article in this issue, “The Testing Path,” or contact Associates in Christian Counseling at
336-896-0065.