First Day Jitters and Beyond

Most NC schools reopen this month. For some parents and children, this will be a first—a 3-year old going off to preschool, a 5-year old going off to kindergarten for the whole day, an 11- or 14-year old going from the top of the ladder to the bottom as they enter middle or high school. What reactions are normal? And what might a parent do to smooth a transition?

In speaking about preschool and kindergarten, Dr. Heath Greene and Mrs. Teresa Tindall suggest parents think in very basic terms. “Children of this age are concerned about the unknown,” Teresa stated. “Questions they may ask include: ‘Will the teacher like me?’, ‘What will my classroom be like?’, ‘How will I find the bathroom?’ ‘Playing school’ or visiting their actual classroom to meet the teacher will go a long way to ease these fears.”

Heath shared that as children reach 3rd or 4th grade, they are better able to handle their anxieties about a new school year themselves. “As they reach 5th grade and beyond, social anxiety may become more prominent. At this age, children are more aware of the importance of relationships. If a child seems to become more and more isolated, a parent might need to get involved in some way,” stated Greene. “Waiting until next year to find a friend is not a good plan. Observe how the child interacts with others. Communicate with teachers to see what they observe. Seek outside help if needed.”

What may a parent do to be proactive? Teresa suggests that in the early years, it is both important and appropriate to be involved at school. “Parents are welcome as both observers and volunteers. This gives the parent the opportunity to stay connected to their child’s world and also to observe interactions in the classroom.” As the child ages, however, involvement in the classroom begins to feel intrusive to them. “At this point, the place to connect is at extra-curricular activities—watch them play a sport, in the band concert, or perform in a play.”

Sometimes parents get to the point where they feel a change might be necessary. They may think in terms of a different teacher, a private vs. public school, or a switch to home schooling. “My question in these situations,” Dr. Greene asked, “is what is the motivation behind the change? Have the parents really researched the change they are considering? Will the problem be the same in a new setting? Are they committed to just one change?” Heath went on to say that if a child is moved frequently, it keeps them from being rooted or grounded. It might also communicate to them that they can’t handle challenges, or, that they don’t have to handle challenges.

As classes begin across our state, you may be looking forward to the return to a more structured routine. Remember to stay involved with your children in age-appropriate ways in order to help them make the necessary transitions from preschooler to high school graduate!

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