One Family's Story

Ken and Sue Farrington were nearing the finish line with raising their children through high school.  Their son was 18. But then things began to change…

At first the changes seemed like “teenage stuff,” a little different than before but then this was a different child.  As with most parents navigating the late teens, the expectation is that they will outgrow their “stuff,” if not in high school certainly with the rigors of college.  But he didn’t get better; he got worse.  “Our son was very bright and we had high expectations for him,” Ken said.  “I saw the strange behavior but what I couldn’t see was what was going on inside his head.  I was beside myself.” Only after a year of struggles culminating in a hospitalization, did they begin to understand when their son was diagnosed with a mental illness.  He had paranoid schizophrenia.

“We had no idea what that was or what it meant,” stated Ken.  “Sue figured that there were support groups for all kinds of things so there must be one that could help us.”  She discovered NAMI—National Alliance on Mental Illness.  “I knew I had to educate myself for this journey.  NAMI was a wealth of resources and information.  I read everything I could find.”  It took another 2 years for them to adjust to their son’s illness.

Just as with physical illness, mental illness impacts the whole family.  Often others not on the frontlines don’t understand the magnitude of the symptoms.  Even more challenging for the Farringtons was trying to help their son accept something about himself that he did not understand.  “I believe this was the biggest challenge of my life,” Ken shared.  “The toughest thing for a parent to do is to have to involuntarily commit your child.  As a father I felt it was my responsibility to help my son understand, to deal with the ‘why’ of what was happening to him.”

God has grown Ken and Sue on their journey and they recognize their total dependence on Him.  Prayer has sustained them.  Ken believes he is a stronger person with greater insight and sensitivity to others now.  Because their son’s illness was so beyond the experience of others, it was often difficult for people in their faith community to understand what they were going through.  Time and information is changing that.

Their son’s journey will last a lifetime—it’s been 17 years since it began--but new medications are making it a positive journey right now.   Ken was proud to share that the past 4 years have been very good.  Their son lives on his own, likes his independence and is excited about his future plans.  Ken finished by saying, “I see his personality coming out and I feel like I have my son back.”

Thank you, Ken and Sue, for sharing your story both to encourage others on their journey and to give courage to others to come along side someone who may be struggling.

Ken Farrington served on the Board of NAMI NC for 7 years and as president for 3 years
Both Ken and Sue have served NAMI Forsyth County as president
They are currently facilitators for NAMI Forsyth County’s schizophrenia support group

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