Domestic Violence - An Interview with Dodie Caudill

As a clinician, Dodie has heard the story of domestic violence in her counseling practice. Listen as she shares her wisdom as a therapist and as a Christian.

From a clinical perspective, what can you tell us about domestic violence?
Domestic violence or abuse is about having power and control over a significant other person. For the abuser, it can be described as an addiction. The rage becomes an endorphin “high.” Consequently, violence generally escalates each time there is an incident. When you add substance abuse such as alcohol or an added stressor such as a pregnancy, the outcome can easily become dangerous.

Often a cycle is obvious. Violence is followed by remorse and forgiveness. A “honeymoon” period may follow which is relatively peaceful. When the cycle begins again, the violence is generally greater than the time before. Sometimes this cycle plays out in the courtroom. The victim has gotten a restraining order; they go to court; she changes her mind; it happens over again.

Working as a counselor in a Christian setting, how do you experience domestic violence in your practice?
The Christian community is not immune to this domestic violence. Unfortunately, what is unique to Christians may be the use and/or misuse of Scripture. The passage in Ephesians 5 where wives are told to submit to their husbands and that husbands are the head of their wives may be twisted to either defend abusive behavior or to keep the victim in place. The wife may believe she must just “try harder” to submit and please.

What role do you see for the church in addressing domestic violence when they become aware of it in their community?
Pastors may offer very different counsel. Some will recognize physical abuse as a break in the marriage covenant and encourage the victim to get out and seek safety. Others will take the stand that marriage is a commitment without exception and that the only response is to stay. Often these differences can be seen in different denominations and in metropolitan vs. rural settings.

In conclusion…..
I believe strongly that Jesus does not call us to stick our heads in the sand. We cannot avoid the reality of domestic abuse in our community, in our families, or in our churches. Its existence crosses all socioeconomic lines.

In John 8:32, Jesus says, “You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.” Abuse and control was never God’s design for marriage. As the Body of Christ we need to provide a safe place for people to share their struggle and find help.

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If you are or have been a victim of domestic violence and need help to heal,
Call 336-896-0065, ext. 203, and make an appointment today.