Burnout and Women

Although burnout does not occur in one sex more than another, or in one season more than another, this post-holiday/resolution time seemed an appropriate one to give some thought to burnout. I’ve asked the female therapists at ACC, to share their thoughts and insights as professionals and as women.

Rebecca Lowry described burnout as “a feeling that things in all areas of life are out of control. It affects all areas of life—inability to focus mentally; emotional lability resulting in relational problems; spiritual dryness; and often physical problems. The body has been pumping out all the stress hormones for a prolonged period of time. Our bodies were not designed for this chronic stress response.”

“As women, we have more of a tendency to be ‘human doings’ rather than human beings as our nature is to nurture,” commented Jane Bailey. The holiday season is filled with high expectations—special meals, family gatherings, perfect gifts, and visions of sugarplums! “I believe it is easy for us to do more than we are called to do in our desire to ‘help,’” she went on to say. “If Satan can’t make us bad, he’ll make us busy!”

We may also find the roots of burnout in families of origin. “Children sometimes grow up with the feeling that they don’t measure up. They grow to believe that if they work hard enough and produce results, they will be acceptable,” stated Jennifer Thomas. Rebecca also sees the roots of burnout for children who needed to parent a chronically ill or addicted parent. “They may find it difficult to give up the responsibility of making sure everything is all right for everyone in their life. Women seem to have more of a problem with taking on too much in a variety of areas, whereas for men, it’s more vocationally focused.”

Burnout has long-reaching consequences. Depression often goes hand-in-hand with burnout. Each therapist felt it was extremely important when discussing depression with a client to do a life assessment and explore their total stress load. Burnout also impairs judgment. It may be as minor as “the tyranny of the urgent which causes distraction,” shared Jane; or from Jennifer’s experience, as major as choices which impact marriages, families, and congregations.

Burnout has become so common in the helping professions that it now has its own name—compassion fatigue. “In helping professions one gives and gives and does not always receive back. A beginning therapist, for instance, will deal with emotional overload while a seasoned therapist will deal with case overload and a sense of never keeping up,” said Teresa Tindall. Good self-care for these care-givers is critical. “Good boundaries and balance, a strong support system, and scheduling time to refresh and replenish yourself is essential,” concluded Teresa.

With nearly every January resolution made being about stopping or starting something, how do we put these ideas into practice?

• Separate things you do because you feel you “should,” from things you really want to do
• Talk with your spouse or family about what things you might change or omit (certain holiday traditions, visits, etc.)
• Set reasonable, realistic goals and expectations for yourself
• If you feel too burned out to even know where to begin to make changes, ask for help

If the God of Creation rested, why do we deny ourselves the same need?

Insights for this article are from ACC therapists—Jane Bailey, Rebecca
Lowry, Teresa Tindall, and Jennifer Thomas. To learn more about each of them, please visit www.christiancounseling.org.